Why We Think Every Couple Should Be Long Distance…

…but not for forever. Because that would be awful.

Truth is, Brent and I joked about this a lot while we were long-distance.  We clearly remember having long talks on the phone about how awful it was, followed by, ‘everyone should do it!’ We day-dreamed about writing a book titled, ‘Reasons Why You Should Move Half-Way Across the Country From Your Significant Other.’ But alas, that title was way too long…so we are relying on this blog post instead. (Also: We don’t think writing a book sounds like fun. I digress.)

Being in a long-distance relationship was terrible, but we truly believe that it was the best for our relationship for a ton of reasons. To keep this from becoming a novel (which I just said we would never do), here are 3 reasons why it was the best:


Need I say more? While a Friday night making out on the couch while watching Netflix sounds awesome, we spent our Friday nights on the phone….talking. And not just about the mushy-gushy stuff. We spent real time talking about our past, our families, our dreams, our goals, our fears, our struggles, our relationships, our everything.  While just being in each others presence is something we love now, we didn’t really have that luxury when we were dating. And we are so thankful! Now, communication comes easily to Brent and I. No, our communication isn’t perfect. I’m a ‘hey, I have an idea so let’s talk through it right now, even if it’s not a complete thought and I have no idea where it’s going’ kind of communicator.  Brent is, well, a bit more of a ‘thought out’ talker.  But either way, we talk. We communicate. We have spidey-sense when it comes to the other person, because we know each other so well. PS- Thanks Google Hangout and unlimited phone minutes! We appreciate you!

The Good, The Bad, The Ugly

I think Brent’s NJ pastor said it best. He talked about how, most couples (that don’t choose to live together while dating) go on dates, and then they go their separate ways. If they aren’t in the mood to see one another, they have the option of, ‘Hey, let’s just get together tomorrow.’ They can get dressed up for their dates, put their best foot forward, and leave when things are done or get boring (hopefully not the later…).  Either way, in some dating relationships, it’s not all.out.there. Well, when Brent and I would see each other, it was for a week or so at a time. We’d stay with one another’s families, and well, we got the good, the bad, and the ugly. ‘Oh, hi! It’s 7 am and I am coming down for breakfast, and I haven’t showered for 3 days because we’ve been so busy…Good morning!’ We got the, ‘You’re being kind of annoying right now, but I have nowhere to go…so….’ Honestly, we like to think we got a little taste of married life before married life, and for that, we are thankful.


To be honest, the hardest transition for me after getting married, was the concept of having another person’s schedule to consider. Sounds harsh, right? But it’s true! Brent and I were used to communicating throughout the day, but the idea of telling another person your schedule, and consider theirs? Woah. But, having said that, we are so thankful that we took the time in our dating relationship to figure ourselves out too! While Brent and I really do truly enjoy doing everything together (gross, right?), we also have an appreciation and understanding of one another’s individuality.  We are one, but we are still two people, with two brains, and two hearts, and two personalities.  We appreciate the differences that we bring to the relationship, and are thankful that we are both complete people that God made us to be (we are just super thankful that God brought us one another to help, lift up, and compliment each other!) We understand that I need girl-time, and Brent needs guy-time.  We understand that quiet time alone is also important. We lift up one others dreams, and believe that through them, the other person shines (in fact, that was part of our vows!). Truth is, I love the individual man that Brent is, and I love that he is all mine as well!

And yes, those are NJ and WI cocktail glasses. We got them as a wedding gift! | Photo by Maison Meredith Photography.

PS-Are you currently in a long-distance gig? Tell us more!
We’d love to chat! Comment below!

  1. Heidi Stoffel says:

    Hi! I’m one of Brent’s cousins. My relationship with my husband started off with several months of long distance relationship. We talked for hours every evening. Then we lived in the same dorm at Taylor University. We had those three characteristics that you talk about in your post.
    Since we got married over five years ago, I can honestly say the hardest part of our marriage has been life circumstances, not any trouble between the two of us. I attribute this to having the long distance time to get to really know each other without physical temptation.
    Thank you for sharing your thoughts. I’m glad to hear that others share my opinion on long distance relationships.

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